What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Sure no problem officer.

The Labour Party wants to put the Winter fuel allowance and the £800,000 of gifts received by ministers behind us. Is this a real option for the people who will suffer as our new masters unapologeticly feast on freebies?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

How many of you have had your parental rights taken away because of lies and no truth whatsoever, and did you prove the lies that were told about you to be false either through drug testing or another way, but still had your rights taken?

After a few moments he returns.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

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{RING} {RING}

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Are vampires real?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Yes sir it is.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Which feels physically better for guys: vaginal sex or anal sex?

HELLO

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.